To be or not to be (a full time preacher)

When I first felt the call to preach, I thought that I would have to give up my medical profession and somehow be supported as an itinerant preacher, whether by my church or some other means.

It was something I was prepared to do, even if it meant tightening belts and forgoing some things. After all, it would be for the glory of God. I was also aware that I should not put my security in my ability to earn a good living, because God, in His sovereign wisdom, could take that from me in an instant, if He thought it would do me good. Whatever it takes, Lord, whatever it takes, to conform me to the image of Christ. I have no doubt that the One who owns the cattle on a thousand hills would provide whatever I need, and more, and that it is He who gives me the power to get wealth in the first place (Deut 8:18).

Stay where you are!

Then I happened across Acts 18:3-4:

And because he was of the same trade, he stayed and worked with them; for they were tentmakers by occupation. And he reasoned in the synagogue on every sabbath, persuading both Jews and Greeks.

It occurred to me that I did not have to leave my former profession just because I was to preach! Why look for another way to support myself when God has provided a way for me to make a good living and reach others at the same time? I could still preach on Sundays!

It is of course no coincidence that our CG started on some studies in “Marketplace Ministry” last Saturday. The gist of it is that God calls us to be His witnesses in whatever occupation we find ourselves in. In reading further into this, I chanced across Martin Luther’s view of “vocation”, based on 1 Cor 7:20-24:

Let each one remain in the calling in which he was called. Were you called as a slave? It does not matter to you, but if you are able to become free, use it rather. For he who is called a slave in the Lord is a freed man of the Lord. And likewise, he who is called a free man is a slave of Christ. You are bought with a price, do not be the slaves of men. Each in whatever way he was called, brothers, in this remain with God.

Here are a few quotes:

On the basis of 1 Cor. 7:17 (“Each one should retain the place in life that the Lord assigned to him and to which God has called him”), Luther opposed the prevailing idea that in order to serve God fully, a person should leave his or her previous way of life and become a member of the priesthood or of a religious order.

Understanding and experiencing calling can bring a deep joy to everyday life. First, calling enables us to put work in its proper perspective-neither a curse nor an idol but taken up into God’s grand purpose. Second, it contributes to a deep sense of identity that is formed by whose we are rather than what we do.

The biblical approach to calling assures us that every believer is called into full-time ministry-there are no higher and lower forms of Christian discipleship.

The full article can be found here.

Fields white with harvest

And so it is that I have decided there is no need (for now) to leave my profession in order to preach. In the last few weeks, I have come to see my clinic as a field white to harvest – so many people in need and coming to me one-on-one, and open to what I have to share. What marvellous opportunities for proclaiming the gospel! And on those increasing number of occasions when I have been enabled to obey the unction of the Holy Spirit, and have proclaimed the gospel, the joy has been indescribable. Yet I must never forget the great motivation, the one and only reason to preach – that His name will be great among the nations! I am beginning to experience a hunger for souls, a love for the lost, that comes from realizing that His name will be greatly magnified by each monument of mercy who comes to Him.

The flesh

And yet I long to preach from the pulpit also.

Although the motivation for this is to be obedient in "promiscuously proclaiming the gospel", as Daniel puts it, I realise that a great part of the longing also arises from what Paul Washer calls “a seething demonstration of flesh” – a desire to gain men’s approval – to hear men say what a great and powerful preacher I am, and how passionate I am about the gospel. All this must be dealt with and mortified before I can even think of getting anywhere near a pulpit. If I preach in the flesh and not in the power of the Holy Spirit, I will probably fizzle out like a damp squib, and even if not, I will be a stink in God's nostrils. Only broken men may preach.

Even my earlier flirting with the idea of leaving the medical profession and becoming a full time preacher was very likely motivated by the thought of the admiration I would inspire because of my willingness to sacrifice a good income for the financial uncertainties of full time ministry.

The fleece

I am also, in a sense, laying a fleece before the Lord.

I will not be seeking, on my own, any opportunities for public preaching (unless I am prompted to do so), but if the invitation comes my way again, I will rejoice and not refuse. As I said, there is still much preparation and pruning to be done on my part, and many burning coals needed on my lips, but the journey has definitely begun.

In the meantime, I will be preparing my sermons, and spending time REALLY getting to know God by praying much more than I have been, and studying His Word. I have lately found a great delight in simply reading His Word and having my understanding opened to it, where previously I preferred reading commentaries and puritan writings, rather than purely the Word.

What does He want?!?

I've taken the liberty of answering a question in one of the comments to the previous article as a post, as I wish to have this easily accessible to myself for future reference.

Few things to think about:

1) Have you considered what the Word would want you to do? I highly recommend that you peruse this book:

Biblical Separation: The Struggle for a Pure Church (Paperback)
by Ernest D. Pickering

2) I have read that you might consider the gospel ministry. Will your present church support you if you ever go into the ministry knowing what your doctrinal convictions are? Or will you deny your convictions to suit the church’s confession of faith?

3) How would you teach if you cannot teach that which is against your church’s confession of faith?

4) Are your spiritual gifts (of teaching?) better used in a like-minded church?

Hi Vincent

Those are indeed very pertinent questions to consider.

My main priority is trying to find out what God wants me to do and where He wants me to be. He seems to be giving me some conflicting signals at the moment, but I'm sure that is simply due to my poor comprehension skills. I'm getting a little nauseous with the different directions I am being pulled to and fro.

First, I learnt about the Doctrine of Separation which (I thought) meant I MAY have to leave my church. Then, the arrow of "coincidence" which pointed straight at CEFC. Then, the seeming confirmation with the sermon preached.

Then, the pull in the other direction began. Learning about John Calvin's insistence that leaving the church should only be for certain reasons (which, in my opinion, do not apply to my situation). Realizing the fact that the Methodist Church (and many other churches in Singapore too, as pointed out by Daniel in his email to me) are pretty apathetic about doctrine and allow members with different doctrinal views to serve. And of course Frank Turk's arguments (not all of which Daniel agrees with, but Frank gives enough VALID reasons for me to stay). And then chenhuaizhi tells me he is considering leaving CEFC!

I've taken a very close look at the Statement of Faith of the Methodist Church in Singapore, and, as I said, I really can't find anything I disagree with. So my original reason to leave seems to be moot! I've always assumed that John Wesley's stand on Predestination vs Free Will and Christian Perfection would be carved in stone in there, but it apparently isn't. In fact, the wording of Article VIII is very much that of Total Depravity, except that Prevenient Grace is substituted for Regeneration, and nothing is mentioned of Limited Atonement. Am I straining at a gnat?

I openly confess my Reformed convictions to all and sundry, including my CG and Pastor, and so far they've not crucified me, so I don't think there will be a Wittenberg anytime soon. I know that I do wish to start getting involved in the Youth Ministry and teach them Reformed doctrine (which is something I very strongly wish I had been exposed to in my own youth, hence my interest to do so). Interesting that our Methodist Bishop recently led a tour to Europe. It was called "Following the Reformed Trail" or something like that.

Honestly, I've spoken with some people, and few even care or are bothered about doctrine. They're more concerned about the accommodation details of the next church camp... *sigh*

What I fear is that after finding a "like-minded" church confessing Reformed doctrine, and joining that church, I will find that they are more interested in the accommodation details of the next church camp...

...rather than discussing how God is working in our lives, through the Holy Spirit, to conform us to the image of Christ. The latter is the kind of like-mindedness I am seeking, rather than the former. Thank God, there is always cyberspace!

To answer your first question ("What does the Word want me to do?") I have looked at the principal text mentioned by Daniel (2 Cor 6:14 - 7:1) and don't really find it describes the situation I'm facing. As Daniel mentioned (again in his email to me), the Methodist Church is not considered out of the pale of Christianity.

As I examine the churches mentioned in Acts, I find that they are geographical assemblies of believers. Everyone in that city calling themselves Christians belonged to the same church, which of course consisted of both the Visible and True Church. They didn't really have to worry about joining different denominations in those days (except maybe deciding between Paul and Apollos) - they were more concerned about other things like Pelagians and Judaizers and being dragged off to feed the lions in Rome.

Will my church support me if I should go into full time preaching? I'll find out, I guess, when the time comes. But one thing I have no doubt of - He who owns the cattle on a thousand hills will be behind me, no matter whom He uses.

To leave or stay in the Methodist Church?

* I know this entry is long, and blog entries are not supposed to be too long. However, this blog is more for personal reference and journalling than for public reading, so if you get bored reading more than halfway that's OK with me. Just leave. Heh.


The Doctrine of Election

I discovered the tract by Dr CD Cole on The Bible Doctrine of Election about 15 years ago, and God brought me around to fully embrace it. It changed my world view and my understanding of the Bible (many parts which did not make sense finally did once I accepted the doctrine of election), but most of all it gave me an indescribable joy in my salvation knowing I was secure in Christ’s election and that nothing depended on me.

Since then I have been a Calvinist “trapped” in the Methodist church, but it has really never bothered me very much. In fact, it bothered my Discipleship Class leader more than me, because I started circulating printed copies of the tract to other members of his class, but that’s another story…

The Doctrine of Separation

A few weeks ago, though, I came across the “Doctrine of Separation” as explained by Daniel Chew in his Theology website. One of the sections deals with how that doctrine is to applied in finding or considering a church home (the imperative principle being that such a decision should glorify God).

I wrote to him for an opinion as to my newly discovered predicament (“Should I leave the Methodist Church?”), and his reply was that although the traditional Reformed answer would be to leave, the reality is that there are no good Reformed churches in Singapore (in his opinion).

A coincidence (?)

At this point a very interesting “coincidence” occurred. I had mentioned to my wife we might be leaving the Methodist Church, because of the problem I had with the Wesleyan doctrines of Arminianism and Christian Perfection. One Sunday afternoon, I suddenly thought of an old ACJC and medical school classmate named Chung Kai who had left the medical profession more than a decade ago to serve in full time ministry, and had googled him, finding the website of Covenant Evangelical Free Church where he serves. As I was reading the church’s Statement of Faith, my wife walked into the study and, without looking at the computer screen, suggested to me that we might want to check out “Chung Kai’s church”.

Now, we had not mentioned his name in many years, and definitely not in the past few days. You can imagine the hairs on my arms standing as I showed her the website I had opened on my browser. I asked why it had occurred to her, and she mentioned that some friends of ours had started attending that church. Also, she had recently met a lady from that church, and her impression of that lady was that she was “very godly”.

Another "coincidence"

The next Sunday, while my pastor was preaching, she asked the rhetorical question: “What do you think of when when you hear the name ‘Mother Teresa’?”

I leaned over to my wife and answered that question, whispering solemnly “She’s a Catholic and she’s burning in hell.” The next second, my unbelieving ears heard my pastor saying that Mother Teresa is now with Jesus in heaven!

As she proceeded with the sermon, she went through the various names of God (Jehovah Jireh, Jehovah Rohi, Jehovah Shalom, etc) and said that God can be who we want Him to be for us, depending on our need of the moment. I’m sure she meant it in a positive way, that God can meet our every need, but if I understand correctly, this is nothing less than idolatry (God is to be worshipped in Spirit and in Truth for who He really is, not who we want Him to be!).

After plenty of deliberation, I finally decided to write an email to her explaining why I thought she should not have said what she said, and about the fact that God seemed to be telling me to leave the Methodist church.

She called me up the next day and asked to meet me to talk, so I popped by at lunchtime. She said that it had simply never occurred to her that Mother Teresa might not be in heaven. We shared about many other things. She quoted that saying about “In essentials – unity; In non-essentials – diversity; In all things – charity”. The problem, of course, was deciding whether doctrinal differences regarding Predestination and Christian Perfection fell into the essential or non-essential category. One thing she said that did strike a glimmer of hope in me that I could stay, however, is that the Methodist church in Singapore does not really have any systematic theology. Hmmm. So it would not matter if I started preaching Calvinism from a Methodist pulpit in Singapore? (But really, the only thing I desire to preach is the gospel – Christ crucified).

Methodist Statement of Faith

I decided to check out the Methodist Church in Singapore website last night, and honestly found nothing in the Articles of Religion of the Methodist Faith (ie Statement of Faith) that did not agree with what I believe. In particular:

Article VIII - Of Free Will
The condition of man after the fall of Adam is such that he cannot turn and prepare himself, by his own natural strength and works, to faith, and calling upon God; wherefore we have no power to do good works, pleasant and acceptable to God, without the grace of God by Christ preventing us, that we may have a good will, and working with us, when we have that good will.

Wesley basically seems to have substituted “regeneration” with “prevenient grace”, and mentions nothing of the doctrine of election or reprobation, and Article VIII appears to be watered-down version of Wesley’s Arminianism.

Incidentally, article XV seems to be blatantly ignored in the Methodist Church nowadays, with lots of praying in tongues going on in the pulpit. Oh well.

Article XV - Of Speaking in the Congregation in Such a Tongue as the People Understand
It is a thing plainly repugnant to the Word of God, and the custom of the primitive church, to have public prayer in the church, or to minister the Sacraments, in a tongue not understood by the people.

So….

In an attempt to clarify my mind, I have made a list of Reasons to Leave and Reasons to Stay:

Reasons to Leave the Methodist Church:

1. Wrong doctrine – Arminianism and Christian Perfection
2. Lukewarm teaching and preaching
3. The coincidence with “Chung Kai’s church”
4. No love of the brethren felt in my heart
5. Exposing my children to good preaching for the sake of their salvation

Reasons to Stay in the Methodist Church:

1. There is no church with perfect doctrine
2. I’m quite comfortable here (OK lousy reason)
3. I should stay and try to change things – the original Methodist ideals are very far from what they are today
4. I want to get involved in the Youth Ministry (vested interest – my kids are in there)
5. John Wesley stayed in the Church of England despite disagreement
6. Need and opportunity to change things
7. 1 Cor 7:17-20 tells us to remain where we have been called
8. John Calvin says the only reason to leave a church is if the Word is not preached (!) and the sacraments are not administered.

Finally, it is probably no accident that I have come across Frank Turk’s defence of staying in your local church on Pyromaniacs (via Daniel Chew’s website, of all places!). This one is the clincher for now. Anyone thinking of leaving their church should first read this.

I think I’ll stay, for now. I shall miss the good sermons I can hear in CEFC, but not really. They have a CD ministry and I can buy the CD's. Now if they only had free downloads....

The call to preach

I am carefully documenting all this so that I can always remember exactly why I am doing what I am doing if, some time in the future, I find myself preaching the gospel as a full time occupation.

Given the sort of introduction to evangelism that I had experienced, you would imagine that I would never have conceived of even wanting to preach.

But Lord, I'm not an eloquent man!

In fact, when one of my church leaders had asked (a few months ago) if I would like to preach in the pulpit, I flatly refused, using Moses’ excuse. I explained that I am not an eloquent person, and that I get terrible stage fright, having found myself paralyzed in front of an audience on a few occasions in my life. Not a very pleasant experience. I told him that I much prefer writing, where I can think things out and take my time to choose the proper words to express myself.

He shared with me that when he preached, he seldom prepared notes, but preferred to preach in the power of the Holy Spirit, an awesome experience. I had always imagined that if I were to preach, I would do so from a prepared text, like Jonathan Edwards reading “Sinners in the hands of an angry God”.

The Pure Gospel

In the last month or so, listening to sermon after sermon by Paul Washer, I have been overcome by an overwhelming desire to start preaching the gospel, the pure gospel. No need to think of new insights or obscure spiritual trivia to pique men’s interest, but to present the simple truths as laid out in God’s revelation to man – our sin, the propitiation for our sins by the death of Jesus Christ, God’s love and His work of regeneration, justification and sanctification. And the overarching theme - the glory of God! Such glory! I want to declare it!

Some of the things Paul Washer said really struck me hard, like arrows to my heart. For instance, when he talks about the fact that what’s really needed these days are preachers who will simply preach the gospel and expound on the Word of God. When he mentions that ministers are to be “doctors of the soul”. When he declares that THIS is it – this is what life is really all about – pursuing Jesus Christ and God’s will with a great passion.

Sneak Preview

As a sort of sneak preview of what may lie ahead, I was given, in early June 2008, what I can only describe as an unction of the Holy Spirit.

It happened during a housecall. George is a dear old man, a retired sailor looking after his wife, who has been bedbound for many years since she had a stroke in 2001. He told me of how his life took a turn when he was a teenager and found a newspaper cutting recruiting young men to join the navy, and how he had signed up against the wishes of his parents. How he had met his wife, who scolded him the first time they had ever met, and how he fell in love with her, even though he had many other girlfriends. How he somehow found the strength to look after her (he is very caring and singlehandedly looks after her, tending to her every need), and how angry he is with God for allowing this to happen. How lucky he was that he remembered my aunt-in-law had once mentioned to him (before she died) that if he needed any medical help, he could call me.

I looked directly at him and (God help me!) started preaching to him, telling him that God had planned every step of his life up to this moment, for a purpose, so that he could hear the gospel of Jesus Christ. I related to him the entire story of Job (in a degree of detail which it would be impossible for me to do humanly) to prove to him that God speaks to us in our pain (or, as CS Lewis puts it – pain is God’s megaphone) – Job 33:14-30 – to tell us about our Mediator. I was weeping, I was pleading, I was declaring God’s greatness, I was beside myself and I was full of JOY! It was just so glorious, what God was doing.

The next day he came to collect the medication for his wife, and I handed him a dozen CD’s worth of Paul Washer’s sermons on the True Gospel.

The floodgates open

The doors just opened after that. I found myself preaching to many of my patients – not just sharing the gospel – PREACHING to them, as and when the Holy Spirit led me to do so. I preached to a Myanmese girl who had been abused by her father. I preached to my cousin – hard talk about the fact that he was going to hell unless he believed in Jesus Christ.

If you had told me 3 months ago that I would be doing anything like this, I would have quickly given you an antipsychotic injection and packed you off to Woodbridge.

It’s no accident that yesterday I happened to be reading the book of Acts:

And the Lord spoke to Paul in the night by a vision, Do not be afraid, but speak, and be not silent. For I am with you, and no one shall set on you to hurt you, for I have many people in this city. And he continued there a year and six months, teaching the Word of God among them. (Act 18:9-11)

Evangelism

When I first became a Christian at the tender age of 15, I attended a Christian Fellowship camp, and one of the things we did was to go door-to-door witnessing with tracts like the Four Spiritual Laws. Some (including myself) came back proclaiming that we had witnessed in tongues because our broken Mandarin was slightly better than it had ever been! How young and how foolish we were – and how loving our Father is to tolerate such nonsense.

I never bought into the whole evangelism thing because, honestly, I have never felt any burden for lost souls, nor was I convinced that God wanted all of us to evangelise. I was more interested in growing spiritually and in knowledge, and I used to quote Eph 4:11 – "And truly He gave some to be apostles, and some to be prophets, and some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers” as self-justification for not being involved in evangelism – after all, I reasoned, not everyone is called to be an evangelist. In fact, I became quite critical of the evangelistic circus, again quoting (quite out of context, probably) 1 Tim 2:1-2: "First of all, then, I exhort that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks be made for all men, for kings and all who are in authority, so that we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godliness and reverence."

I basically wanted God to leave me alone and out of His plans so I could live a quiet Christian life. *Sigh.*

Of course, He wouldn’t give me any peace, and I tried settling for “lifestyle evangelism”, which is basically keeping your mouth shut and hoping someone will notice how good you are and ask you about Christianity. Not!

All this time I continued reading and growing and understanding bits and pieces about God’s covenant, the work of regeneration, justification and sanctification and so on. I knew the Christian life went way beyond the Four Spiritual Laws, but that remained basically what I had, as far as evangelistic tools were concerned.

I never could find any popular tracts that spoke of conviction of sin, repentance, God giving us a new heart and the Holy Spirit and so on.

I tried printing out short sermons from Grace Gems to give away, and they were indeed quite popular, but by and large only Christians availed themselves of the material. Non-Christians remained uninterested.

As and when there was opportunity, I would offer to pray for a person in need, and during that prayer, I would specifically asking God to reveal Himself to the person and give that person healing and the peace that passes all understanding. I think I only used the Four Spiritual Laws about twice in all these years, as it fell far short of what I had to convey.

God, of course, was not done with me yet...

Discovering Word And Verse

Darren had posted some hit statistics to highlight CS’ position, and one of the sites mentioned got me curious. It was ping.sg, which turned out to be a blog aggregator. It was full of typically pruerile Singaporean rubbish, but again, something jumped out at me (you should know by now I don’t believe in coincidences but in God’s working) and that was wordnverse.com’s post warning about Che Ahn and Todd Bentley.

Todd Bentley’s name had jumped out at me because just a couple of days earlier I had heard about the Lakeland “Revival” from one of my CG members, who was gushing about it and how it was so exciting and wonderful and how she had received impartation of healing gifts just by watching it over the Internet and how her daughters had also felt “something” – a vibrating feeling – when she made them lie on her bed.

I had gone home that night and googled “Lakeland Revival” and later “Todd Bentley”, and what I learned horrified me (thank God for discernment sites – not that you need much discernment with THIS one). I just could not believe that anyone would fall for this rubbish. I could not read or watch any more after an hour or so. What I had come across so far already fully convinced me, and to continue would simply be indulging a taste for the macabre. I had to listen to some Paul Washer after that to wash my soul… (ok ok bad pun).

Anyway……

I found Word and Verse such a breath of fresh air. Being very excited about Paul Washer, I posted a link to his sermons only to find out that they were all great fans of his as well (for the last few years, probably). So much for my great discovery…

It was then that I found in myself a great love for the brethren. I cannot describe it better than a great affection arising within my breast for these people who love God the way I do, who share my hope and inheritance in Christ and love of doctrine and of the gospel, and whom I know are loved by Christ Himself. And no, it had nothing with being Paul Washer groupies.

It is something that I have seldom or never felt in all my years of being a Christian. All along I have felt that I was alone in this journey and that there are brothers and sisters out there somewhere (but not in the body of believers I am in) who are professing Christ but do not share my yearnings for Christ, for holiness, for truth. A little, I suppose, like Jonathan Livingston Seagull (yes, yes, I know the story behind that story, and I beg your forgiveness for referring to it, but it serves best to describe how I have felt all these years).

It is the difference, I suppose, between being with mere professors and being with the elect.

And so it was that I began to actually experience what had been promised in the Bible, a mark of assurance which had been missing all along: “We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love other believers.” (1 Jn 3:14)

Discovering Paul Washer

Someone had pointed out an article about godtube.com, so I decided to check it out. It turned out to be a pretty godless place, lots of videos about the rapture and being left behind and vapid little “Christian” music videos trying to be hip and failing miserably.

But there was one video which caught my eye, and that was of course Paul Washer’s “shocking” video. I could not get enough of him, and downloaded all the videos from his HeartCry website and listened and listened. Then there’s SermonAudio.

It was the first time I had ever become excited about the gospel of Jesus Christ and about God’s glory. I suppose this may be because it was the first time I had ever heard the true gospel in its purity and entirety. It resonated deep within my soul. I suppose it helps that we probably read the same authors (Jonathan Edwards, Spurgeon et al) but I also believe that it is because we have the same Spirit working within us.

In fact I became so excited that I wanted to PREACH the gospel. Anyone who knows me will recognise that this is a pretty significant change. More on that later.